Random Thoughts from Seminar with Dan Kimball

Yesterday and today I have been in Stafford, VA for a continuing ed event sponsored by the Virginia Conference of the UMC. One of the headline speakers is Dan Kimball. I am impressed that they brought a speaker from outside the denomination. I have really enjoyed Dan’s perspective and approach to being a worshiping community.

The focus of the conference is on connecting with the disconnected, i.e. evangelism. Dan asked some good questions and I think really challenged the folks who attended. The biggest thing that I think is a Methodist cultural issue – reaching outside the four walls of the church building. There are many UMCs that do this well. However, I would argue that the majority of UMCs don’t do this well. We have somehow lost the DNA of Wesley where people go out to where the people are.

It seems that in our culture, the pastor and church staff sit in their office in the church preparing for the people that are already attending. Mission is leaving for one week in the year to serve someone in a far off place.

Yet, there are many people in our own community that need to be connected with the kingdom of God. Our churches need to be missionaries in our communities. We need to have vital, celebratory, life-giving worship. We need to be developing authentic relationships with people outside our churches. We need to be growing in our own relationship with God so that we can be transformed in love to serve and love the people in our community, not because they are a number, but because they are loved by the Author of grace and creation.

The church is not social club. The church is the people who are the body of Christ called to go out into the world.

Heartbroken...

The events this past week at Virginia Tech have bothered me more than other campus shootings. All such shootings are horrific, but seeing the pictures of familiar buildings and paths I once walked as a place where such senseless violence was unleashed into the world makes me sad.

More than once I have been watching the images on TV and found tears welling up and a lump in my throat. It breaks my heart.

However, I believe God enters the broken places to point to a new reality. Jesus entered broken creation to point to a new reality - the kingdom of God - and then help us to get there, even here on earth, through his death and resurrection. We the church, the embodiment of Christ here on earth, enter into broken and dark places to be Jesus to those who suffer and need healing. Just as Jesus is the light that darkness can not overcome. So we are to share that same light in to dark places.

So in the face of such horrific events, may we be the light to those in darkness just as Jesus has been and is the light to our darkness.

Vacation Update...

Jill and I have really enjoyed our time at the beach. It has been relaxing and refreshing. We leave the beach today and head up to Richmond for a quick visit with my family before heading on to Marshall tomorrow.

We were able to make it to the beach one day (yesterday) where Jill acquired a sunburn to match all sunburns. (ouch!) She likes to make fun of me whenever we go to the beach, because I try to cover every square inch to avoid getting burned...who's laughing now! (Don't tell her I said that.) The water was extremely cold. I decided to be manly and run into the water...when I dove under the water and the cold of the water stole my breath, I decided that being manly isn't really all its cracked up to be and promptly ran back out of the water.

We ran into a group of folks from a previous church on Monday evening. They invited us over for a delicious seafood meal the next evening. We enjoyed hanging out with these folks in a different context, and getting to meet some new folks. The rest of our vacation has been spent just the two of us. Its been really nice.

Those were just a few of the "highlights" from our trip. Good stuff! Now its the time has come to make our way back to the real world.

My New Favorite Toy...

This gadget is awesome! I tried it out yesterday for the first time.

First, while running it provides automatic updates on your progress through your headphones. During the workout press the select button and it tells you your pace, time so far, and distance so far. Once the workout is over, connect the ipod to your computer, sync it with itunes and it links with nike to track your runs.

I especially like it because it makes me faster! (I still need to calibrate it - it told me I did 8.7 miles in one hour - trust me, I am not that fast.) Also, this little device doesn't require nike shoes. All you have to do is cut a hole in the tongue of you shoe, drop the sensor in there, and you are set to go.

Words from down under...

Found this cool clip over at EmergingUMC. I find the messages in the video below inspiring and encouraging. What do you think?

Vacation!

Jesus is risen. Easter is celebrated. Now Jill and I are on vacation!

We are staying at a sweet place this week. I don't want to divulge our source other than to say - I know a guy...

Jill loves the beach. In fact she takes off for a week each summer with a group of rowdy women (her mom, her mom's friend and Jill's childhood friend) to come to the beach. I live the whole week in fear that I will have to post bail for them for being too rowdy!

But I digress...the weather is a little chilly, but that works for me because it means we don't have to spend countless hours baking in the sun. (Not my favorite thing to do.) We hope to do a lot of reading, eating, running, sleeping, watching movies...we'll need a vacation to rest from our vacation!

We both have a few "work" things to do. She has to do report cards (I wonder if she'll be more generous with grades since we are away from home at a beautiful beach). I need to get my butt in gear working on a series on healing - something about which I feel I have a lot to learn and process.

I will post more later - for now I must go...vacate...vacation...whatever the correct verb form is, I have to go do that.

Two things you don't talk about at dinner parties...

...Theology and Politics.

Scot McKnight has a great post dealing with both. Its his reflection on a book (William Cavanaugh's Theopolitical Imagination) he read that explores the church's relationship with politics. I highly recommend checking out his post. Scot voices some great thoughts that are helpful to me as I continue to grapple with the role church's and pastors play in the political process. (I would recommend the book, but since I haven't read it yet I can't give an informed opinion. So I guess what I can say is: Sounds like an interesting book!)

While I believe we should be active in the process, I do not believe we should ally ourselves to strongly with any one political party - we are called to be a prophetic voice that points to the kingdom of God, not the kingdom that man is trying to build. Thus we need to be able to encourage and critique both/all parties.

Of course it gets a little tricky when we attempt to make ourselves the spokespeople for God. However, I think the themes we find in Scripture, and more specifically Jesus words and deeds in the gospels, aid our discernment in how we vote in order to point towards the ever-present kingdom of God.

Your thoughts?

Happy Birthday to Me...

One of my favorite things is to wake up and see snow on the ground - which was a total surprise this morning...in April...when it was 80 degrees on Weds...I think the last time I can remember there being snow on my birthday was 17 years ago....ooff...that seems like a long time ago!

Good Friday...

Check out Scot McKnight's very interesting post on the timing of Good Friday. Very interesting!

Who Are You?

I love church history and I think I qualify as a geek (not the "chic cool" geek, more like the "interested in odd stuff" geek.) That said, I was amused to have stumbled across this test to determine which early church father one might be. So, in celebration of Holy Week and Church tradition... Which church father are you?

It appears as though I'm this guy:

You’re St. Justin Martyr! You have a positive and hopeful attitude toward the world. You think that nature, history, and even the pagan philosophers were often guided by God in preparation for the Advent of the Christ. You find “seeds of the Word” in unexpected places. You’re patient and willing to explain the faith to unbelievers. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

Humbling Church Moment #683

At RUMC we recognize birthdays and anniversaries before the service. The congregation sings a modified "Happy Birthday/Anniversary to You" and people can walk up and put money in a "birthday box" which goes to help the needy in our community.

This past Sunday I was doing the announcements and calling notice to this tradition because we have several new folks worshiping with us. I wanted newer folks to understand what people are doing when they walk up and put cash in th "birthday box" and have the opportunity to participate.

However, I forgot two things. First I forgot that my birthday was this week, which means that I should as an example, put money into the box. No problemo - a perfect teachable moment... except to my horror I as I reached into my pocket I realize I had forgotten a second thing - cash. I had no cash.

So, what may have been a really good spur-of-the-moment idea (announcing the church custom of the birthday box) became a humbling church moment in practice (no money to put in the box for my own birthday). I'll be bringing cash to church this week.

Rest, Rest, Rest...

Whew what a whirlwind! We just got home from Richmond. We began the day running with 26,000 of our closest friends at the Monument Ave 10K. (We both missed our target times by 2 minutes, but had a good race non-the-less!) Then we went back, got cleaned up hung out with our gracious hosts. Then Jill and I took advantage of some of the shopping around Richmond before joining up with our friends for an early dinner. After dinner we headed home and now I write this post from the comfort of our living room.

Now its time to put some last minute touches on tomorrow's sermon. Then time for rest...until tomorrow!

Run, Run, Run...

Jill and I are in Richmond for the Monument Ave 10K. Its the first race of the season for either of us. It looks like it should be great weather. Jill has been a champ with the training. I expect her to have a great race. My training has been so-so. Not as consistent as I would have liked. Either way its fun to be in Richmond even if it is a brief trip. I hope to be able to report good news in my next post about the results!

Assault and Withdrawal...

Dallas Willard in his book, Renovation of the Heart, talks about two ways humans socially wound one another. Assault, or attacking, and withdrawal, or distancing. Reading about this kind of set off an "Aha!" for me.

God created us to be in community, and when we assault others or withdraw from them, this destroys community. Thus wounding others and perpetuating a kingdom that is not God's. I believe this has deep implications for how I live my life as a follower of Jesus and the vision that I seek in desiring God's kingdom.

One big change is that I will begin using my ipod less in public settings. For instance as I began to write this post, I was listening to music on my computer with my headphones on. I am in a coffee-shop, a public space. There are people sitting all around me. By using my headphones, I am essentially saying, "I am not interested in relating to you." This is withdrawal. So, the ipod is now for in the car or when I am alone.

Another change is the way I relate to others. How am I assaulting others and destroying community? Hopefully I am not. But I am certain I am. Do I look at others with contempt? Assault. Do I say things about people to others in a contemptible manner? Assault. Do I harbor resentment and bitterness towards others without seeking reconciliation? Assault. Unfortunately the list could go on.

Please understand the community that I think I have become aware of is not some Utopian society where all humans are really good people living in harmony. Its a community in which we are all connected through our love of God and God's love for us as evidenced in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In other words, the kingdom of God. A place where God's will is done on earth as it is in heaven. A place where individuals are valued because of their value to God, not based on their morality, bank account, appearance, or contribution to society. A place where forgiveness is shared because we are forgiven. A place where we choose community rather than withdrawal. A place where interactions are filled with God's love and not with assault.

I believe this starts with the church. How can we embody such a community? Can our hearts be (re)formed in such a way that we can live this out? I believe the answer is "Yes, we can." The question becomes will we?

The Motive of Service...

Scot McKight has a great post dealing with this. The issue is the motivation of our hearts. It seems to me that doing something merely for the opportunity to talk about Jesus is somewhat of a bait and switch. "Here, let me show you 'love'...bam...here's a double-shot of the gospel!" Yet the other end of the spectrum refuses to mention Jesus because well...I'm not sure why - maybe they are just "good" humanists in church clothes.

Jesus was pretty concerned with how we treat one another, particularly the people who are treated poorly or who don't have a lot. And while I believe all people need to know the saving love of Jesus, I also believe that God is trying to reshape and mold our hearts in this life to be like Jesus. As part of that growth, God desires for us to actually have hearts for the poor, meaning that we love them whether they know Jesus or not. We love them because Jesus loves them. And if we can love them in such a way (or at least try to) then our authentic attempts to show them love will speak louder than any words (or tracts) we could share.

Otherwise, its like making folks sing for their supper...attend this worship service, or say this prayer and then we'll love you, feed you, insert your felt need here.

Bottom line, as McKnight says in his post, all we do we in the name of the Lord - for his sake and his purposes. And who knows maybe his purpose behind our good works is to give us a natural opportunity to authentically share our experience of the risen savior with the people we serve, I don't know that it should be our decision, but God's.

What are your thoughts on these things?

Humbling Church Moment #657

Serving in a church with lots of small children keeps one always looking for good childcare workers. I recently came across a potential worker and arranged for her to come and work on Wednesday nights, during our Bible study. Last night was the first Wednesday she was working with us. This particular evening I happened to be carpooling with some folks from the congregation, and as we pulled into the church parking lot, a lone black SUV with the license plates "DVL SPWN" sat there waiting for us.

The folks I was riding with had concerned looks on their faces and asked, "Who's car is that?" To which I had to meekly reply, "I think that is our new childcare worker."

I may have lost some points there...

The worker said that it was a license plate she got in high school to irritate her mother several years ago. I don't know if it worked then, but I fear it's going to irritate some folks at church.

The moral of the story: in addition to background checks on childcare workers, run license plate checks too.

My Third Place...

What is your third place? There is the place where you live, the place where you work (sometimes those are one in the same!), and then the place where you spend the rest of your time. This "third place" is usually some sort of hobby or activity like motorcycles, running, triathlon, comic collecting, knitting, sewing , etc.

I realize my third place has become my computer. (I'm not sure how I feel about that...) When we moved this past summer I got a new Macbook (which I love!) for personal and work use. As I learned more and more about the mac, web 2.0 and all the cool things out there on the internet, I began spending more and more time on my computer. Which hasn't helped my social life much - although I do spend a fair amount of time at the local coffee shop (on my computer - free wifi is beautiful!)

Where is your third place?

Renovation of the Heart

Over the past few weeks I have been reading a book that has been a strong influence over the shaping (or reshaping) of my heart. The book is called Renovation of the Heart, by Dallas Willard.

Willard's main is writing about the process of spiritual (re)formation where our hearts are made new in Jesus Christ. I am about halfway through it (trying to read about a half a chapter a day). I am currently in the section about transforming the mind, and the past couple of days I have been reading about "feelings". In particular, Willard is discussing:

Hope - anticipation of good not here yet
Faith - confidence grounded in reality
Love - to will the good
Joy - a pervasive sense of well-being
Peace - the rest of the will that results from assurance "about how thing will turn out"

Willard suggests that if our hearts are resting in the above things, those feelings which destroy our heart (desire, pride, lust, etc.) will fade away. He argues (and I agree) that the foundation for spiritual (re)formation is the power of the Holy Spirit, but that we play a role. We are active participants in this renovation.

He uses a three part model for how we participate in the renovation of our hearts. First there is vision - we envision what our transformed lives will look like. Second is Intent(ion) - we have every intention of living into that vision. Finally, there is Means - we use means (prayer, disciplined thinking, accountable discipleship group, etc.) to intentionally live into the vision of a renovated heart.

So although I haven't finished it yet, I highly recommend this book.

What about the resurrection?!

The other day I attended a funeral for a young woman (37). It was a sad event because family and friends were mourning the tragic loss of a loved one. It was even more sad, because there was no mention of the resurrection or the hope we have in Jesus.

Now, I didn't know this woman. She was a friend of several of the women in my congregation. I went to the funeral in a pastoral capacity as a sign of support for them. However as I sat listening to the presider an already sad event grew even more sorrowful.

There were probably 150 - 200 people in attendance. People coming to this place to share grief and support for the family and friends of this young woman. What a wonderful opportunity to share a word of hope to this community in their grief.

Instead, the presider read about 25 selected readings from the Bible. Then he read a commentary to some of these passages from a sect known as the Christian Scientists. I found myself growing angry as the presider read. It wasn't that he was reading poorly, he read well. I couldn't help but think of how people were hearing this. Did they understand what they were hearing? Was this soothing to them in this time of grief? Was it clear that Jesus' resurrection, his victory over death, gives us hope in the midst of our grief over the death of a loved one? Isn't that the purpose of a Christian funeral?

Or was this was merely a memorial service. People gathered to remember a loved one, here some words read, tell stories, cry and go home. That's it. Death wins. It's done. Finished.

Sad indeed.

Interruptions...

I will be the first to admit, I am a pretty selfish guy. I don't mean this in a "poor me, say nice things to me" kind of way. I mean it in the "right now this seems to be the condition of my heart" kind of way.

One of the ways I seem to be most selfish is with my time. I guard it jealously. I try to horde it up in chunks, so I can do the kinds of things I want to do. I try to manage my calendar so that I am master of my time. (This is not necessarily a bad thing.) And typically when interruptions pop up my initial response is frustration because...well...its ruining my plan.

Well, today three interruptions came my way - and for some reason (most likely the grace of God) I was able to embrace them. I didn't see them as things that kept me from what I wanted to do. I saw them as ways to help others and maybe even serve God.

In these instances, by not clinging so tightly to my time (notice how I said "my" time, like I own it in the first place - ha!) By letting it go, interruption turned into blessing. Or, maybe a better way to say it is that interruption turned into being. I wasn't managing. I wasn't doing. I was just being.

As I write this, I recall a thought that occurred to me last night as I was drifting off to sleep: each day is a gift from God. (Kind of underwhelming, huh?) But for some reason, at 12:07 AM this struck me as profound.

I mean really and truly, I have taken for granted for the past 32 years that when I go to sleep, I will wake up the next day - kind of like when I start my car, I just assume that it will start. Last night I kind of realized that just because I assume that I will wake up does not necessarily mean I am going to wake up. Each day is a gift.

Anything could happen while I am asleep (i.e. a natural disaster, war, fire, a stroke... without going into morbid details, you get the point.) So I decided while laying there, awaiting a peaceful slumber, that I would wake up tomorrow morning (which is actually today) with gratitude for the gift of another day of life; thankful that God, in his grace, has allowed me one more day on earth.

Maybe, somehow last night's reflection subconsciously worked into my psyche, so that today I wasn't as selfish with my time as I was yesterday. Maybe I am maturing and seeing the value in living fully in the present and being more selfless with my time. Maybe I should forget what I think just before I go to sleep.
Or...maybe God is at work in all of this, pointing towards the simple blessings he gives - like another day on earth - and is transforming my heart one day at a time.

My hope is that its a little of the former three and a lot of the latter. Either way. Today is nearing its end. Time to go to sleep. I wonder what tomorrow will bring...

Recommended Reading...

1. Simply Christian, by NT Wright
I really enjoyed Wright's style and thoughtful presentation of Christianity. Some would call this the "Mere Christianity" of our time. I enjoyed how Wright started with a foundation of three different world views and followed those through the various topics - helping the reader to see that what some may consider Christian is really not, and vice versa. Regardless of where one is on the journey, I believe this book is a good companion to have with you!


2. The Gospel According to Starbuck's, by Leonard Sweet
I drank (pardon the pun) this book up! Sweet does a great job of analyzing a cultural icon and the things they do well and then suggesting generally how the church or Christians might consider applying those principles as followers of Jesus. His E.P.I.C. (Experience, Participation, Image-driven, Connections) approach is helpful and worth the price of the book itself. While reading this though, I must admit I had to wonder if this book was somehow partially funded by the coffee industry.


3. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
I just finished this one this morning! Gladwell's use and explanation of some current trends is very interesting. While one could argue with the conclusions he draws regarding those trends/epidemics, he does a good job stating his case for what sends some trends/epidemics past the tipping point. I am still absorbing in the ideas and trying to figure out how these apply to my local church context.

Skiing is a beautiful thing...

I am up at Snowmass, CO with some friends for a couple of days. In this picture, Andrew (black) and I (green) just finished hiking up to the top of the Longshot Run. (See trail map here.)The view was spectacular and the run down the mountain was fun and challenging!

The weather has been fantastic and the snow conditions have been even better. The only thing that would make this trip complete is if Jill could be here!

Snow and Grace...

This morning I sat staring out at the falling snow, while enjoying a cup of coffee. As I sat, I reflected on the beauty of the falling snow and how, as it blankets the earth, it transforms the landscape into a new and beautiful creation, if but only for awhile.

I believe God's grace is like this as well - like a blanket of snow it transforms the wintry landscapes of our lives into something new. As fresh white snow blankets dead foliage, so God's grace blankets the sin and shame of our lives, giving us a fresh, new slate. But unlike snow which will eventually melt, God's grace and transforming power is more permanent, more...eternal.

God, thanks for the beauty of creation and a freshly fallen snow. As the snow covers the earth, may your grace cover our lives so that we may be transformed to be new people. Shape us by the power of your Spirit, so that our lives may be as fresh as a newly fallen snow. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Grace unexpected, yet always amazing...

I'm not sure if this articulates my experience or the richness of my realization of grace very well, but it has been helpful to write.

Have you ever had one of those moments that so clearly exemplified the sacrifice and beauty of the cross? Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone's graciousness in a way that both shames and lifts you up in the same moment? This evening was one of those moments for me.

Tomorrow we are having our church's leadership training event. I was responsible for arranging child care. I had made arrangements, but the fell through on Wednesday night. Not sure what to do, I hesitated like a deer in the middle of the road around a curve with a mack truck bearing down. So, true to my male tendencies I procrastinate.

You see, the problem is that we have advertised "Childcare Available" for the last month and a half for this event. Actually the problem isn't that we have advertised childcare, its that there is no childcare. By this point my stomach is churning in knots due to fear of failure and fear of incurring the wrath of members of the congregation. Friday morning comes and goes, and I still know idea how to work to resolve this.

Friday afternoon sneaks up on me will I try to pretend that the childcare monkey is not really on my back (despite the fact it has been weighing me down for almost 36 hours!) In my mind I begin to start going down the list of invitees, wondering who has children. I know of a couple of families won't be able to attend due to work responsibilities. Hope flickers...maybe no children will show up. I place calls to two families I know are attending. One family can make other arrangements. The other family will wait and see how their child does Saturday morning -they may have to leave early.

The fact remains - I was responsible for child care and we have no child care. Then my saint of a wife speaks up. She says she will be the childcare. I know this is the last thing she wants to do on a Saturday morning after already spending a significant amount of time with children in her classroom. She would much rather do her own thing.

My burden -my anxiety- has now become hers. There will be childcare after all, thanks to my wife. Yet I feel shamed because she is sacrificing her time to bail my sorry hide out of a bind which is my fault because I did not deal with it quicker in the first place. Moreover, its not something she wants to do. She has picked up her cross to bear this weekend, and I am the recipient of its grace - something I don't deserve. Thank you my dear, for showing me grace and for gently pointing towards the deeper grace found in the cross of Jesus. I love you.

You gotta read this...

... story about a nine-year old who ran away from his house in Washington state and ended up in Texas. He stole a car (NOTE: this was his third time stealing a car!), jumped on a plane to go to Texas, switched planes in Phoenix and was finally arrested in San Antonio. According to his mother, he really doesn't like Seattle.

Now, I don't condone running away, stealing cars or sneaking onto planes, but I must admit, I admire his tenacity and his creativity.

Super-heroes...

Just the other day, I was talking with a friend of mine believes about "superpowers." So I had to chuckle to myself when I came across this super-hero test. You can see below who I would be, who would you be?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% The Flash 65% Iron Man 65% Superman 60% Supergirl 48% Robin 43% Batman 40% Wonder Woman 38% Green Lantern 35% Hulk 30% Catwoman 15%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Preparing for Christmas...

...so that is why I haven't written much lately - working on getting Sunday's services ready as well as preparing to be out the first week of January, when I hope to spend a little time at the monastery. While there I hope to spend some time working my brief reflections on ebenezers to be posted upon my return.

So, I hope you and your family experience much blessing, peace and wholeness in the celebration of Christ's birth and eventual return!

Amnesia No More...

Earlier I posted about my spiritual forgetfulness. In that post, I challenged others and myself to remember. So I made a list of things I wish to make "ebenezers", or spiritual markers in my life. I hope over the next several weeks to be able to post a brief reflection on each. Here they are in chronological order:

• my baptism (Age 5)
• my parents divorce (Age 6)
  
• my conversion (Age 14)
• call to work in youth ministry (Age 22)
• awareness of call to ordained ministry (Age 25)
• appointment to Rectortown Church (Age 32)
• a second repentance (Age 32)
• a call to remember (Age 32)

I hope to give better titles to each section, but each of the points above will be the center of my reflections. If like me you suffer from spiritual amnesia, I invite you to join me on this journey of remembering. Although some journeys must be traveled alone, most are more fun with fellow travelers.

My Papers Part 3

6. Describe your understanding of clergy leadership from a Biblical and Wesleyan perspective.

From a biblical perspective clergy leadership is helping God’s people take the next faithful step, to borrow a definition from Lovett Weems. This is true both individually and corporately. Moses led the people out of a land of slavery eventually to the edge of the promised land. He did so under God’s direction, meaning he looked to God and listened to his direction. Thus he interpreted God’s faithful steps for the Israelites to lead them to the place God prepared for them. He helped them to take the next faithful step.

Jesus, as part of his earthly ministry, invested his life in 12 men. He taught them and showed them the way towards the next faithful step. Because of Jesus’ leadership (and the fact that he was the Son of God) Peter and James were instrumental (with the power of the Holy Spirit) in the founding, leadership and building of the church. From John we have several important (and much discussed) canonical texts. These men took the next faithful step.

Thus clergy leadership is helping the church as a body and as individuals to take the next faithful step to which God is calling them. We do this through participating in a relationship with God from which we gain our vision and understanding. We do this by spending time and investing our lives in other leaders who will then invest their lives in other leaders, etc.

From a Wesleyan perspective, clergy leadership seems to be the specifics of how to help God’s people take the next faithful step. For instance, preaching and the sacraments were very important to share God’s grace with others, thereby enabling them to follow the movement of the Spirit.

Additionally accountability and discipline as a community helps people to take the next faithful step, because it helps us to focus on where we are going. Disciplined accountability helps the church and individual believers, as Stephen Covey once said, to “keep the main thing the main thing by keeping the main thing the main thing.”

Forgetfulness...

The longer I live, the more I realize that my story is like that of the Israelites. They had this amazing experience where God rescues them from slavery, yet they continued to grumble and forget what God had done for them. Their story is my story. I forget.

I forget the lessons that I have learned about life and faith. I forget that when I trust in anything other than God I wind up disappointed. I forget that God's power and love are bigger than me and my mistakes. I forget.

This is why I love worship on Sunday mornings. I remember, if but only for an hour, that God is God, and I am not. I remember that Jesus is the cure to the disease of sin that infects the world and me. I remember that God's plan for creation is one of redemption, renewal and ultimately resurrection. I remember...

...then I forget. But, maybe tomorrow I will remember. In the desert the Israelites built piles of rocks called "ebenezers" to commemorate the events that took place. They gave those rock formations names that reminded them of what happened there. What shape might my ebenezers take? How might I name them? (I must admit my first thought is that tattoos would make good ebenezers. Don't worry, Mom. I'm not planning on any tattoos in the near future.)

This week I am going to work on remembering. As I do, I invite you to join me and ask you to ponder and maybe even share how you mark the ebenezers on your journey.

Soul food...

Preparing for Sunday's sermon, I stumbled across the words below; they fed my soul. Possibly they will feed yours too...

It all starts here out in the hot sands of repentance. The gospel begins here, if it starts up in your life at all, that is. The gospel begins not with the cry of a baby in a manger, not when shepherds hear the angels sing, and certainly not when the stockings are hung by the fireplace with care or any other such cozy holiday image as we usually think of them. The gospel begins, the gospels say, with John. The gospel begins out in the desert, out in that place that, throughout the entire Bible, is associated with death, chaos, and danger. The wilderness is not the place to go if you're looking for a good time. The wilderness is not safe. But the prophet Isaiah once predicted, and the man John the Baptist later fulfilled, the promise that it would be precisely in the desert, in the place of death, where God would build a highway to new life. You go into the desert to die, the gospel says. But in baptism, you not only drown, you rise back to new life.

Have you ever heard John preach? It's the most refreshing thing in the world! It's new birth, gospel-style. It's a fresh start. It's good news. It's like going to the doctor convinced you've got a tumor the size of a basketball pressing on your abdomen only to be told it's just gas. Take some Rolaids and go home. A new start. Good news! It's like getting called into the boss's office convinced a pink slip was coming only to get promoted to be the head of a whole new department in the firm. A turn-around, a reversal of fortune, good news. You get on the phone and gush, "Honey, you won't believe this but . . ." and then you go on to make her believe it anyway because it's true.

John offered that. A new start. A fresh beginning. The Messiah is coming, John says. He's coming soon and he's going to dip you right into the life-giving waters of no less than the very Holy Spirit of God. But don't get me wrong: none of this means that everything will become instantly hunky-dorey in your life. For instance, if you are celebrating Christmas this year without a certain loved one who died since Christmas last came and went, that's going to hurt. The gospel doesn't say it shouldn't hurt, but only that through the hurt shines the light of Christ. For now at least, even the gospel can't fix everything. Relationships fracture. People up and die on us before we get the chance to say we're sorry. It hurts. John the Baptist knows that. The One for whom John prepared the way knows that, too. Jesus doesn't leave the room in disgust if you find yourself weeping in front of the Christmas tree--as though your sorrow is ruining Jesus' holiday cheer. Instead, Jesus catches a salty tear or two on the tip of his finger and quietly whispers, "I know. I know. That's why I came in the first place."

John helps us to see and remember that. John takes a buzz-saw to the tinsel and glitter of it all, but he's not finally wrecking anything but building something more lasting, more real, more full of the gospel. John is the beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It starts here or it starts nowhere. Because if it starts here, the gospel will have some longevity to it. If it starts here, the gospel can endure long after we put the decorations away on January 1. If it starts here, the gospel will have depth to it even if we find ourselves merely going through the motions this month because of how sad we feel on the inside. If we start out right, we may finish right, too. And then in between the start and the finish, our lives will bear the gospel fruit of repentance, showing that we really do get it.

Have you ever heard John preach? If you haven't, you should. Because the gospel tells us that the only way to get to Bethlehem is to travel through the desert first. Well, that's not really true. You can get to Bethlehem without going through the desert. But if so, then once you get there, you won't find Jesus.

(Adapted from “Have You Ever Heard John Preach?” A Sermon by Fred Craddock.)

My Tech Buzz...

For those who are not interested in my paper responses, here's something about technology. (You may not be interested in that either...sorry.)

Over the past couple of weeks I found two need tools I have enjoyed working with and I hope to use more. The first one is Airset. This on-line personal information manager is pretty cool. It is great for keeping track of calendar, making group calendars and I can even make a public link to the group calendar from my church's website. Cool stuff.

The other cool program is Skype. This program allows you to call either other Skype users or regular phone lines over the internet! For free!!! (Please note that as of 1/2007 Skype calls to regular or cell phones will cost money.) The other thing that is incredibly cool is the video portion of it.

Cingular and Palm just began offering a Treo 680, a cheaper version of the Treo 700. I have been wrestling with whether or not to get this. My plan is to wait until January to make any decisions. (Waiting is killing me! My poor wife has to listen to me talk about it until then.)

Finally, a very good friend of mine is blending and stretching the boundaries of education and tech with a colleague of his with a new website. Check this out!

How about you, any cool tech discoveries?

An Excerpt from My Papers - Part 1

How has the practice of ministry affected your experience and understanding of God? (¶330.4. a) (1) for deacon; or ¶335 (7) a) (1) for elder).

My understanding and experience of God has been shaped in three ways as through practice of ministry over the past three years: the preparation for the proclamation of the word each week; leadership of corporate worship, including celebrating the sacraments; and finally through the practice of pastoral care.

As I prepare for sermons, I enjoy spending time with the text and other resources learning the cultural context and trying to gain a better understanding for the way it spoke to its original audience. This shapes my understanding of God, because it becomes easier to connect with the Biblical witness and seek practical applications for my/our contemporary context. This connection with the text helped me to realize that God has an overall plan (I know it sounds cliché, but I think I better see that overall plan, not necessarily the specifics) for the renewal and redemption of Creation.

Leadership of corporate worship has changed the way I experience God. Previously I used to mainly seek God in personal devotions and “quiet times.” However, I now experience God more fully in corporate worship (in conjunction with regular devotions). I think it has something to do with the discipline of gathering each week in expectancy – somehow be shaped by that act of corporate worship. The idea that we have set aside all other things to gather before the throne of grace and seek to be shaped and molded in community. And when the hour ends our shaping and molding doesn’t stop, but we continue to try and live out our worship in the world around us. There is something very beautiful to me in that idea.

Finally, the practice of pastoral care has affected my understanding of God. As I have sat with families who just lost a loved one, or individuals who are crumbling under the weight of guilt, or people seeking meaning in the midst of tragedy, I feel so very small. There are no words I can offer, no comfort I can give other than my presence and a spoken prayer. As I sit in those situations and as I now reflect back on those situations, I realize that I have come to understand God as One who sits with us in our pain and brokenness, yet the Living God is not bound by that grief, sadness or despair, because just as Jesus was resurrected so God can and will help us to experience little resurrections from the figurative deaths we experience living in a creation that is ravaged with the effects of sin.

I am sure that as I continue to grow, mature in all areas of my life, my practice ministry will continue to affect how experience and understand of the Living God, the Author of Salvation.

An Excerpt from My Papers - Part 2

2. What effect has the practice of ministry had on your understanding of humanity and the need for divine grace? (¶330.4. a) (2) for deacon; or ¶335 (7) a) (2) for elder).

Over the past three years, I have noticed a trend in people’s responses to me when they find out that I am a pastor. They inevitably have one of three reactions: they either look for a way to exit the conversation as soon as possible, they try to make sure I understand how good they are and how they are so active in their home church, or they want to make sure I understand why they are not active in church or faith. This says something to me about humanity – we are constantly looking for some king of assurance that we are okay. Or else, we will avoid those things that might tell us otherwise.

Another example of this is the story of a young mother who came to my office in my first year as an associate pastor. She had been suffering from extreme depression which required medication. While under treatment for this depression, she became pregnant. The medication she was taking for her depression was hazardous for the baby so she stopped taking the medicine. While off the medicine she fell into deep, deep depression. She could not function. She could not be a mother to her children. She could not be a spouse to her husband. This woman went to the doctor seeking help at which point she was asked to choose between her unborn child and the ability to function and be a mother and a spouse. She chose the latter. Which brought her to my office.

A year after choosing to abort the child, she was still wrestling with guilt. She was afraid that God was angry with her that he hated her for her choice. That somehow she had made God not love her anymore. She came to my office desperate for some assurance that God might still love her.

My heart broke for this young woman. To have to make a difficult choice and then to have to wrestle with whether or not her decision might have somehow stopped God from loving her.
I wonder if much of humanity is not in this same situation – we are afraid we have somehow angered God and prevented him from loving us. We are seeking some assurance that we are okay.

Which leads to our need for divine grace. I believe there is nothing we can do to stop God’s love for us; if there were that would make us somehow stronger than God. I believe God freely offers divine grace to humanity to give us the assurance that we are loved, not by virtue of what we did or did not do, but by virtue of God’s infinite capacity for love and mercy. To be sure, I imagine God is not pleased by much that we as humans think and do, yet in spite of our sin and brokenness, divine grace is offered freely, without cost to us.

My practice of ministry over the past several years has helped me to this understanding. As I study the Scriptures and experience God in corporate worship, service and Bible study I think I see that God had great desires and plans for humanity – the biggest of which is right relationship with the God who made us, our fellow humans, and the created world. Yet I see how we turned away from God’s plans and tried to follow our own plans. The story of the fall is my story as it is every human's story. We abused the gift of freedom of choice to choose wrongly.

Thus our need for divine grace. We need our hearts, our very core to be renewed in that image in which and for which we were originally created! We cannot do this ourselves – only the God who made us can set us back into the right relationships for which we were created. This grace rescues us from our waywardness and reorients us to face in the right direction.

This grace enables us to be in right relationship with our Creator. It then allows us to be in right relationship with our neighbor. Finally, it changes our hearts in such away that we then see the need and the purpose to be in right relationship with the creation.

Papers Submitted...

It is good to be back writing for fun again. Friday I turned my papers to apply for ordination as an Elder in the United Methodist Church. I enjoyed the practice of reflecting on some of the questions. I will post some questions and my responses in later posts over the coming week.

In addition, I hope to get back to posting semi-regularly as before.

Who knew...

...that I was an amillenialist! (see below.) The scripture passage I am preaching on this week is Mark 13:1-8. This text is somewhat apocalyptic in nature. I have been doing some really interesting reading on the subject. My plan in preaching this passage is to share what we, as followers of Jesus who are of a Wesleyan bent, understand about 'end times.' In my research, I came across this little quiz. Here is how I scored:

You scored as Amillenialist. Amillenialism believes that the 1000 year reign is not literal but figurative, and that Christ began to reign at his ascension. People take some prophetic scripture far too literally in your view. Amillenialist 100% Moltmannian Eschatology 65% Preterist 55% Dispensationalist 40% Premillenialist 25% Left Behind 5% Postmillenialist 0% What's your eschatology? created with QuizFarm.

Humorous...

...but not a substantial post. I enjoyed these, maybe you will too. I believe they are from Community Christian Church.

christian v. christ-follower…

(ht to marko)

Caution: Man at Work...maybe

I had fully intended on putting up a post saying I probably wouldn't be doing much substantial blogging over the next few weeks because I am working on writing my papers for ordination. But then I was reading through some blogs and came across a friend's post that struck something in me which I felt I had to express (see my post below.) Of course my wife would probably wonder when I have ever felt the urge NOT to express myself!

The timing of these posts are rather ironic because just today I was working on my papers where one of the questions was - How would you describe the nature and mission of the church? Let's just say my response did not contain quite as much uncertainty as the post below.

Anyhow, I may or may not post much over the next few weeks. We'll see how my papers go.

Reflections on the work of a friend...

NOTE: Before reading this I feel I must make a disclaimer (this comes from my fear of being misunderstood) The following post is a part of my grappling with the mission and nature of the church. I do believe that the church is something that God has put on this earth to be the incarnation of Jesus, meaning it is a divine institution and we get to participate in it. That said, I am working through some cynicism about the way we have chosen to live out that institution. (i.e. denominations, doctrine, etc.) My fear is that we have mistaken the means for the end. In other words, rather than focus on Jesus and the kingdom of God he proclaimed and pointed us to, many have chosen to focus on the church as the end. Currrently, I understand the church to be the means through which the prayer is to be answered "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." However, right now I am grappling with whether or not we are really being the means to that end or not." Clear as mud? Good. Consider the following and please comment your thoughts or ideas. I would love some good discussion on this.

I invite you to take a look at this post from my good friend, Jim. I think sometimes its easier to see Jesus in real life stories than in the institution of the church. (Which ideally is supposed to be the incarnation of Jesus in the world.) I believe Jim's story is a good illustration of missional - going out into the world and living like Jesus. (I'm not saying this is necessarily Jim's intent, but this is my interpretation of what he's doing.) The sacrificial love Jim is demonstrating will have more impact on those students than any number of talks they would hear at most church youth groups.

This is something I wrestle with as a clergyperson in the western church, more specifically a main-line denomination. I spend a majority of my week preparing for a worship service where Christians gather sing some songs, say some prayers, read Scripture and hear a sermon and hopefully by the power of the Holy Spirit encounter a taste of the living God. Am I helping others to follow Jesus with reckless abandon by living the full lives of selflessness and service that Jesus calls us to? Or am I just helping people to "self-medicate" with their Sunday morning dose of religion that helps them make it through the week, but does not lead to the transformed life to which Jesus calls us? (I hope that no-one from the board of ordained ministry is reading this!) Moreover, am I leading that transformed life as a follower of Jesus or am I "hiding" in my office preparing my sermons, staying safe behind the "title" of pastor?

I guess time will tell. Check back in a year. If the church I am serving is the same or a smaller or bigger version of what it is today, then we'll know the answer. In the mean time - Jim, keep up the amazing work. I admire you and thank you for being Jesus to those kids.

Good Times...

Quality time with family is always good. I had a great time with my dad, brother. Here's a pic from the weekned.

Its What We Do...

Today and tomorrow I am in New York visiting my dad. Visits with Dad are filled with projects working on his house. That's what we do. Some fathers and sons work on cars or watch football together. We do home improvement. (Tim Allen eat your heart out!)

For me these home improvement projects are good bonding time. We get to do something together that we both enjoy. I get to learn new things from him. We play with cool power tools. This is manly stuff...and memories I will cherish.

Pura Vida...

The evening air felt crisp as the click clack of Daisy's paws sounded against the road's surface. The stars were shining their little hearts out as if to say, "Pick me, pick me, " like children raising their hands to be called on by their beloved teacher. Daisy's eager tug on the leash wakes me from my day-dream. (Is it still day-dreaming even if its 11 PM?) Our walk continues along the slumbering street lined with homes whose eyes are filled with the darkness of sleep.

Thoughts from the day swirl around my mind. Its been a good day. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but right now, as the world sleeps I feel alive. Not just "taking breaths and heart pumping blood alive", what the Greeks call "bios". No, its bigger than than. Another Greek word "zoe" is more appropriate. Life that is more than just the biological functions; life connected with the sustenance of the Divine Creator.

So, maybe its the combination of creation's beauty and the feeling of a day well lived - not wasted - all converging at this moment. Maybe its some chemical reaction to the food I have consumed this day. Maybe its a touch of God, an affirmation of life. Either way, at this moment, walking the neighbor's dog surrounded by stars and dark houses, and silence I feel alive.

Congratulations!

Good news from one of my good friends tonight - he and his girlfriend are now engaged! Jill and I are so happy for them. We have watched this relationship blossom from the very beginning. It is exciting to continue with them as they enter this next leg of their journey together! God's blessings to you my friends! May your life together be filled with rich experiences and much joy!

Various and Asundry Thoughts...

1. I posted earlier (here) about my Mac needing to go to the "Mac-infirmary." I was attempting to track it while it was gone, and I could never get any information where it was. Needless to say, I was a little worried. Well, Thursday afternoon the delivery guy drops off my Mac fixed and ready to go - I could have kissed him! That was great! (I sent it out on Tuesday.)

2. The fall is beautiful up here - the crisp cold air, the blazing yellow and orange leaves, the smell of smoke in the air...beautiful.

3. I think that the only difference between adults and children is a driver's license, the right to vote and buy alcohol legally. More on this later.

Well, that's all for now on this Tuesday afternoon. I need to prepare my sermon and Bible study. Enjoy your day.

Friday Night...

Could it get any better? My wife and I are sitting around the dining room table blogging, feasting on hot cinnamon roles and sipping tea. Geeks? Probably, but at this moment this geek is in heaven.

Apples, Gollum and Me...

You never know when your dark side is going to rear its ugly head. This past weekend we continued the ritual of going to Carter's mountain orchard and picking apples. The experience was complete with apple donuts and a beautiful day. As we were picking apples a kind soul gave our group a pole-picker. This instrument is a long pvc pipe with a jury-rigged wire contraption to grab the apples. It is very helpful to get those perfect apples way up in the tree, beyond human grasp.

We had lots of fun using this new contraption, testing our dexterity, seeing who could get the most apples in one attempt, etc. I began to grow quite an attachment to the pole, after all I was the one who received it from the benevolent giver.

After a while, a teenage boy approached me and asked to borrow the pole to get just one apple. I most graciously agreed. The pole was a great tool. Who couldn't resist wanting to use its reaching powers to harvest ripe apples. It was even possible that apple picked by the pole tasted better. So I relinquished my precious pole for this one time use. One apple wouldn't hurt.

Yet once I let this marvelous tool out of my hand anxiety began to build inside. What if he wouldn't give the pole back? What if he wanted to -gasp- pick a second apple? I already began wondering how I could use the apples as a weapon to immobilize him so I could liberate my precious pole from his pubescent clutches.

But, true to his word, the young man picked his one apple (under my hawk-like gaze...I mean careful supervision. In the wrong hands the pole could be dangerous. We don't want anyone losing an eye, now do we?) He then returned the pole to its rightful steward (me). Now that I was reunited with my pole, I began to realize what a precious commodity this was. I had to beware of people eying this precious pole. I had to protect it at all costs.

Even more, I shouldn't pick any more apples with it lest others would see its amazing apple-picking powers and they would want to use it. No, I would just hold onto it. Plus, I may need to use it as a weapon to fend off the family to our left with their toddlers. Surely the phrase “terrible twos” is descriptive of something, right? And I see those toddlers coveting my apple-picker.

Even as I plot my defense against the toddlers, the teenage boy approaches again. Can you believe it? He has the audacity to ask if he can use the pole again. What's worse, he asks publicly in front of my friends. Who does this kid think he is to want to borrow this pole again? But at the risk of appearing selfish, I go against my better judgment and hand over my pole. How dare he make me have to choose in front of my friends.

He stood there clumsily groping the trees for their precious bounty. He was not worthy of this instrument. Yet it was in his possession and we all know that possession is 9/10 of the law. Now my friends began to leave the “pink ladies” section and move over to the Fuji's. Torn between trying to get the pole back or go with my friends, I realize this young man, my nemesis, is smarter than I gave him credit for. His “strategery” is no match for me. Dejected, I droop my shoulders and turn to follow my friends, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

I mentioned to one of my friends how hard it was to give up the beautiful, precious, jury-rigged pole. My friend looked at me and laughed at me (not with me) saying, "But that pole wasn't yours, somebody gave it to you!" Conviction!

Could my pettiness sink any lower? How often do I cling to something that is not mine, trying to claim it and make it mine? How often do I allow myself to become Gollum over something that is so insignificant and meaningless? And how ironic that my dark side, my selfishness, surfaces in a garden (orchard) surrounded by apples.

Good news and bad news...

The bad news first:
I had to ship my mac back for repair. The guy on the phone said it could be two weeks. D'oh! Then when I called the shipping company to track its progress, they had no record of it. Aahhrg!!! They promised to call me today to let me know where it is.

The good news:
I have a couple of things that I have written with pen and ink that I am shaping and molding to post soon. This is kind of a fun process. I look forward to getting then posted. Luckily my wife doesn't use her computer during the day (she's kind of busy teaching!) so I have comandeered it while she's at work!

Hotlanta...

At the end of last week a group of 5 colleagues and I attended the Catalyst conference outside of Atlanta. It was a great trip for at least three reasons:
1. Connecting with colleagues
2. Amazing Worship
3. Great Teaching

It is always a blessing to be able to go to such an event and experience a time of renewal. Andy Stanley's talk was great! He kicked of the conference talking about leadership. (Which is always a good idea for a leadership conference!) His comments were directed not just to pastors, but leaders of all kinds.

Using a text from Daniel 4 & 5, he suggested that leadership is:
1) a gift from God;
2) it is temporary; and
3) there is accountability to God in leadership.

Because of these three things, we as leaders should be:
1)humble (because our leadership is not from ourselves; its from God);
2)fearless/bold for the Gospel (God placed us where we are and therefore we must seek to please him, not men); and
3)diligent (we are accountable for the work we do as leaders, therefore we should strive to do our best for God).

As my friend Mike said, that one talk was worth the price of the conference!

Thirst Quenching Moment

Have you ever had one of those moments as you were reading or listening to a speaker and something was said that touched you? I don't mean in a an emotional way. I mean in a way that something inside you absorbed the statement life a parched plant absorbs water. A moment in which you can't help but utter an audible "ahhh", signaling a thirst quenched, a filling of some sort.

I do get those moments. Typically they happen when I have set aside time to read or listen to someone online. This morning one such moment filled me as I was reading. In the midst of this book, I came across a quote from CS Lewis (an author whose writings seem to inspire many such moments.) The quote was this: Love by definition seeks to enjoy its object.

Three words struck me in this statement. First, enjoy. In Lewis' Reflections on the Psalms he provides a fantastic chapter on praise where he links praise with the enjoyment of the object being praised. For instance if I really enjoy a particular book/song/movie, I will praise it to you (what a beautiful song/book/movie/etc.) and possibly invite you to enjoy it with me ( you have got to see this!). He then goes on to apply that to the way we praise God. So, enjoyment and praise are linked.

Second, love. Love is a word that seems to be used in so many different ways. I say I love my wife, but I also say that I love The Simpsons. Both statements are true, but the love referred to in each statement is extremely different. Yet both statements refer to things which I enjoy. I enjoy the company of my wife: her laughter and playful silliness, her resilience and discipline, her wisdom and patience...the list could go on. Yet I also, enjoy The Simpsons - the multi-layered humor, the poking fun at various instituions, the pop-culture references. While my love for my wife is much greater than for the Simpsons, I thouroughly enjoy both.

Finally, object. The oft quoted John 3:16 starts out - "For God so loved the world..." God loves the world. If we apply Lewis' description of love here - God enjoys his creation. I am sure there are many things about fallen creation that God does not enjoy, yet the thought that God might enjoy you and me despite our bent towards sin is a pretty powerful idea.

Another powerful idea (one that may have been obvious to you at the start - I'm a little slow soemtimes) is that my praise of God is not some disconnected and cold litany of utterings that I say because I am trying to appease a cold and distant God. Rather my praise comes because we are wired to be a part of something bigger than ourselves; we are wired to be in relationship with God. And when we seek that, no matter how imperfectly, we connect to that for which we were created. Therefore in relationship with God, I praise him because of the things in him that I enjoy, things we were meant to enjoy - Creation, love, justice, mercy, presence...the list could go on.

All of this from one thirst-quenching phrase from C.S. Lewis.

I would like to end with a quote from Psalms as a blessings and encouragement - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will grant you the desires of your heart." For if we are delighting in God, then our desires are him - and they have been granted.

What are your thirst-quenching moments? Any thoughts in response to this one?

Update...

This is probably a superfluous post (some might say all my posts are superfluous. ha!) But I wanted to follow up on this post from earlier in the week to be somewhat accountable to what I had written. Anyway, here is my report card:
1. Denying self by being more giving of my time - B (I feel like I have made a conscious effort in this area.)
2. Bearing the cross of the ordination process - C (I haven't complained about the process, but I haven't done much with it either.)
3. Following Jesus by serving at a local non-profit - F (I thought about the non-profit thing, but I never followed through to contact one.)

A new path...

Today I took a new path. I've looked at that path many times over the past several months, and then taken the familiar way. Today I took the "other" path. I didn't know where it would lead. All I knew is where I started from. (Much like most of my posts...I'm not sure where it will eventually end up.) So I decided to be adventurous.

I realized something as I explored this new path: I don't take new path's very often, because I assume I know where they lead. Sometimes I'm right, but other times I'm missing out on the blessings that come with new paths because I'm so busy trying to control outcomes.

Come to think of it, I spend a lot of time trying to gain control: control over a situation, over understanding, over others, over my life - but I am convicted by the ancient words I preached on not even seven days ago - Whoever wants to save his life must lose it...

Hard words, especially for me, one who likes familiar paths and the safety of assuming I know what lies ahead on new paths. I've spent the better part of 32 years "controlling", "assuming", coasting down easy or familiar paths. I think I'm ready to give that up. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I don't want some institution whose rules and procedures seem to exist purely for its own preservation. I want to live in the dangerous wonder of Jesus.

The thing is, I don't even know where to begin. Its hard to change 32 years of thinking in one simple thought, or one blog post. But as the old saying goes, "A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step." Maybe this is my first step?

Getting refilled...

I am thankful (most of the time) for the internet, podcasts, and MP3 files - instant access to sermons online. Now that is not always a good thing. Yet, it's always refreshing to hear a sermon that renews me. I have been enjoying this guy's sermons at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI for awhile. They are now a podcast in Itunes! I just listened to his sermon from the beginning of September - "What is it to you?" (John 21). Fantastic.! I highly recommend checking it out. If you don't have itunes, you can download all the sermons from the listen section here.

Seeking feedback...

I'm not sure how many people actually check this site regularly, but if you do you must be somewhat web savvy. Therefore, I would love your feedback. I have just put up a rough draft of our churches website here. If you are interested, please check out the site and shoot me a note using the e-mail link on the Contact Us section. As you look, please consider the following questions:

• Is it visually pleasing?
• Is the info well organized and easy to understand?
• What do you wish were on the site?
• What do you wish were not on the site? (the vbs photo of me doesn’t count...I know that needs to be changed!)
• Any suggestions (other than hiring a professional!)?

Thank you in advance for your feedback!

Questions...

Yesterday, I challenged my congregation to wrestle with and answer the following three questions. This was in light of Mark's account (Mark 8:27-38) of Peter recognizing Jesus as the Messiah, Jesus description of what the messiah must do (suffering, crucifixion, resurrection), and what Jesus' followers must do to come after Jesus (self-denial, bearing a cross, and following Jesus).

The questions were:
1) Where is God calling you to deny self?
2) What cross is your path of discipleship?
3) How will you follow Jesus this week?

Now I can't ask the congregation to do something and not do it myself. So here are my abbreviated answers:
1) God is calling me to deny myself through being more open and gracious with my time. Recently I have become very selfish with my time. So I am not going to see interuptions as distractions, but as ways to allow God to shape and mold me. (This is going to be easier said than done!)

2) (NOTE - I am using a definition of "cross" that I found while reading Lawrence Stookey's This Day; "the cross we bear is something we could evade but take up willingly despite our misgivings." Since it is something we take up willingly we can't complain about it!)
Right now, the cross to which my path of discipleship calls me is to take the UMC's process for ordination more seriously. I get frustrated with the institution and politics of the UMC, but this is where God has called me. Therefore, I am going to quit my grumbling and take this thing seriously. This is tough for me because I have allowed cynicism to be the lense through which I have viewed the process. So I am going to work to shed that cynicism, write my papers and prepare for my interviews. (Please note, this will not be a solo effort, I will be relying mightily on God for help with this!)

3)I am going to follow Jesus this week by attempting to practice what it is that I say I believe. So, I am going to find a local non-profit that helps the poor, hungry and/or homeless and volunteer to work with them however they need me. I haven't practically done much of this over the last few years. Believe it or not, I think this will be the easiest of the three!

How about you, how will you answer these questions, this week:
1) Where is God calling you to deny self?
2) What cross is your path of discipleship?
3) How will you follow Jesus this week?

Haunting...

Its difficult to articulate why this video fascinates me. I think it has something to do with the eyes and the music - they go together well. Enjoy.

striking out...

As a pastor I realize that it is important to be able to handle rejection and not take on too much blame when people say, "no" or stop coming to church. Just because they say no or stop coming, it doesn't necessarily mean they are rejecting me. I intellectually understand this. But don't always emotionally get it...STRIKE ONE.

That's the people pleaser in me (which is characteristic of many pastors) which again I intellectual acknowledge and realize, but emotionally haven't yet adjusted for...STRIKE TWO

And finally as a pastor who has dabbled in psychology and pastoral care classes, I realize that "rejection" that I sometimes emotionally respond to is really just me projecting what I "think" people are "thinking." Again, I intellectually realize that I tend to do that yet I still catch myself doing it...STRIKE THREE

There are about eight inches that physically separate the brain from the heart...those are the longest eight inches.

Good Monsters...

This is going to be a great new album! As far as the video goes, I like the end with the furry monsters and robots. Possibly some symbolism there?

The Work of Devotions

The other day in the midst of some Scripture reading and praying, I realized that this felt a lot like work. I don't mean work in the negative sense. I mean work in like exercising and pushing one's heart rate so that it makes the heart stronger. Or work like the work I put into my relationship with my wife.

As I reflected on this feeling of work during my devotion time, it started to make sense to me. The work that I do in devotion is what makes space in my life for me to recognize God's presence in the everyday. If I'm not spending regular time with God, how could I possible recognize him in the midst of the little things. I can only be aware of God's presence if I can recognize what to look for, which ultimately takes work.

Now this may be an obvious point and readers may be saying, "Well, duh!" But for me this is a good lesson/reminder. I want my time spent praying, reading, etc. to be earth-shattering every time. I want each day to walk away feeling like I'm totally and completely filled with God's presence. But what am I seeking? God or a good feeling?

Certainly "mountain top" experiences will occur, but in the rhythm of life valley's occur, too. Therefore consistency (and discipline) are what ultimately produce growth. Otherwise, I'm using devotional time as a drug; trying to get that next fix of "feeling" God's presence while completely missing the point of practicing the disciplines - a transformed life through the practice of spending time with God.

Rule of Life

I just finished The Sacred Way by Tony Jones. It was a wonderful book with concise chapters on spiritual disciplines. Something I am finding is the need to be intentional about following Jesus. Its easy for me to talk the lingo and put on a nice "Christian" outside for people to see. Yet, following Jesus is about so much more! I want my inside and outside to match! Congruence is the fancy techincal term for this. I want my heart and my actions to be congruent.

All this to say, that my heart needs a little...ok, a lot of...intentional work! Spiritual disciplines seem to be ways that God and I can use to work on my heart so that it becomes a kingdom heart - a heart out of which a desire for the kingdom of God flows.

So Jones's book was helpful in that it gave practical information about ancient traditions that followers of Jesus have practiced for centuries. Now I am in the process of working to develop a rule of life to guide this work.

Journey

I am in the process of ordination in the UMC. Here is my autobiographical statement which is required to apply. I had fun writing it. It could use some more work but its due tomorrow, so it will do. Not sure why I feel compelled to post it, but here it is:

In the space below, write an autobiographical statement regarding your Christian experience, call to ministry, formative Christian experiences, and plans for service in the Church. (You may single space this statement but use Times New Roman 12 point font.). Please keep this to one page.

The metaphor of a journey seems like an appropriate way to describe my Christian experience. Typically on journeys, milestones mark the path as reminders of significant places along the journey. Looking back at my journey, several such milestones readily come to mind.

First, and probably a fitting start for my journey, is baptism. I was baptized around the age of 5 in a Presbyterian church in Lynchburg, VA. While this particular event did not appear to have significance at the time, I treasure the memory of it. Reflecting on my journey it is a humbling experience to see how God is fulfilling his part of the baptismal covenant. Unfortunately, my parents were not practicing Christians, so I have very few memories of a faith community growing up; an occasional service here and there, but nothing consistent. I had very little contact with any religious organization until high school. (So much for the other side of the covenant!)

Which leads to a second significant milestone. My freshman year of high school, I became a Christian through the ministry of a para-church organization that reaches out to high school students. This is the point when I became aware of my journey. Ever since then, I have been attempting to follow Jesus; sometimes well, sometimes poorly.

Both those markers are significant in that they are about starting the journey. Some markers further along the journey are about becoming more aware and intentional about following Jesus.

For instance I will never forget the inner-tension I experienced as I grappled with a call to service during a Harvest of Hope mission trip before my senior year in high school. Likewise, I vividly remember a United Methodist pastor explaining grace to me; a significant shift in my understanding and practice of the Christian faith.

Finally, I can never forget (no matter how much I want to some days) the milestone of the still, small voice that calls me to ordained ministry. This marker seems to move. Sometimes it seems to be out in front – leading me on the journey towards the marker of ordination. Other times it seems to behind me pushing me on into the unknown.

All of these milestones are a part of my Christian formation. They shape who I am today and who God is molding me to be. I am thankful for the journey and the reminders along the way of God’s activity in my life and in the world.

The Power of Story

This morning I finished reading Orson Scott Card's The Enchantment. I really enjoyed the book. Have you ever had a feeling of joy and contentment at the conclusion of a story before. A feeling of warmth and home. I had that feeling this morning.

As I reflected on where such a feeling might come from it hit me - maybe this story has things that connect it to THE STORY: Good triumphant over evil. Reconciliation. Love. Mystery. Healing. Maybe, there was truth in OSC's words. Not factual truth, but the truth of the story that in some way points to THE STORY. Such that when that truth is read it connects us with God's story in some way and in that place there is a sense of peace and contentment.

Any thoughts?

witness...

I just witnessed something that bothered me very much and I can't quite explain why. without going into too many boring details - i just saw a panera employee curse out another employee, dropping the f-bomb and calling her white trash. i can't explain why, but I was rather offended. I don't consider myself a prude and its not like I haven't witnessed people's meanness to each other before. but for some reason this interaction made me really sad.

I think the woman behind the counter could sense my discomfort and disgust, because she gave me my order for free.

Holy Cross Abbey-Part 3

As I mentioned earlier, there is a certian rhythm of living at the monastery. It is initially a strange rhythm. Mealtime is one of those things that is a part of that rhythm. Breakfast is help yourself. Dinner (lunch) is promptly at noon. It is also the main meal of the day where a meat dish is served. Supper (dinner) is at 6:25 PM and is lighter than dinner but still very good!

All meals are spent in silence. At dinner and supper Brother Steve's (the guest-house keeper) gravelly voice reads Henri Nouwen to us. The clanking of forks, spoons and knives on the plate seems somehow amplified by the silence. (We decided that the plates are somehow louder than regular plates.) Because the silence saves us from the burden of small-talk, one is left to concentrate on Brother Steve's words and/or the taste of the food. The food always somehow seems more pure there; maybe it's the silence, maybe it's the food, maybe I typically eat really bad food...

Holy Cross Abbey-Part 2

Prayer times -
The monks at the abbey gather together for prayer several times a day: 3:30am, 7:30am, 12noon, 2:00pm, 5:30pm, and 7:30pm. Guests are invited to attend all the services except the noon service. Mass (the eucharist) is celebrated at 7:30am, however it is not offered to those who are not catholic.

This past week we made it a habit to attend all the prayer times after noon. The chapel where we gather for the prayer times is a room right out of the 60's or 70's. Its difficult to describe…its kind of dark, with paneling, and (in my humble opinion) a cheesy statue of Mary and Jesus. Despite its retro feel (of course, I guess retro to monk would be something out of the 12th century) a peace does exist in that place.

One of the monks rings a bell in the bell-tower which is the call to prayer. One enters in silence and sits in the pews. Once prayer time is ready to start, then a monk begins chanting the liturgy. The other monks respond at the right place. For an observer, its kind of cool, yet very different from our protestant extremely participatory worship services. At times I would try to concentrate on the words being chanted (from the Psalms I think;) other times, I was daydreaming.

By the end of the week, I felt completely in the rhythm, even if I didn’t completely focus during the worship services. This may sound contradictory, but there seemed to be a freedom to ordering one’s life around the prayer times. I was a free agent, I didn’t have to go to the prayer times but in choosing to order the time at the monastery around the prayer seemed to be good. I guess its good theology, in Genesis, we see God as one who creates order out of chaos. For me, Holy Cross Abbey was a place to go where I could experience God in the order of the monastic life, leaving behind the everyday chaos that comes with life.

Holy Cross Abbey-Part 1

Arrriving at the monastery for the first time can be rather intimidating. However, arriving for the second time almost had a feel of coming home (plus it was a treat to get to see friends we hadn't seen in awhile!) Guests who come to the abbey for a retreat stay in the guest house, which is separate from the actual monastery where the monks live and work. Each person on retreat is given their own room with a private bath, a desk, reading chair, closet and bed. The facilities are really nice. The guest house has a dining area and kitchen where all meals are prepared (by someone else – woohoo!) and eaten. The abbey and guest house sit on a beautiful farm which is leased to local farmers to tend. The monks got out of the farming business a while ago. They now spend their "free"-time making...I kid you not...fruitcake. Go figure!

Monk for a week...update

I have been threatening to write a post about the monastery for a week now. Well get ready, here it comes! I am going to break this up into several smaller posts over the next couple of days. But the short of it is this: Last week my wife, a good friend, his girlfriend, and I met up at Holy Cross Abbey. It was a wonderful time.

The rhythm of life is very different than I am used to, which is a most beautiful and challenging thing. But the focus on community, spiritual reflection, and personal discernment were really great! So please stay tuned for more...

I should be in bed...

...but I find myself with an alarming lack of self-discipline this evening. Friday's are my day off, so its kind of a treat to stay up late. (At least that's what I tell myself!) Mostly I am spedning way too much time on the computer searching the apple website searching for cool programs like this one. Yes, it would seem I have way too much time on my hands. Tomorrow I hope to spend some time writing about the monastery and other reflections over a cup of coffee at Freestate Coffee, my new favorite coffee shop. Until tomorrow, cheers!

blogging from my dashboard...

Some good friends were in town this weekend and we stayed up late Friday playing on the computer. I found this little widget to go on my dashboard and thought I'd try it out. It makes posting a little easier although the functionality is limited.

So. I am doing this as a test run. I have several posts coming up including thoughts from the monastery. I hope those will be coming in the next few days!

Cheers!

Don't judge a book by its title?

Okay I need to do one last post. Late last week I finished Isaac Asimov's I, Robot. Very interesting read. There is a sermon in their somewhere. Also, I am still reading about the Orthodox church as well as spiritual disciplines. But I was in a bookstore today and I picked up Brian McLaren's new work. I haven't started it yet, but the title makes me a little uncomfortable - The Secret Message of Jesus. I am trying to reserve judgment until I have read it. The reason the title makes me uncomfortable is becuase it sounds a little gnostic - that there is some secret "Jesus knowledge"; if we just could possess it then we could have enlightenment. It seems that Scripture is pretty clear (particularly the gospel of John) that God isn't trying to keep us in the dark or hide from us, except for those few who have the secret decoder ring. So I hope that my assumptions about the message of the book are wrong. Once I have read the book, I will put in my two cents. Okay, now I've gotta pack before I leave to spend some quality time with the monks. No more posts until Friday! Peace.

Monk for a week...

This week, I am going with some friends to Holy Cross Abbey. We will spend some time in silence, worship, and fellowship. I am really looking forward to this time. I am hoping to get some headway made on planning worship for the fall! While I will have my computer with me, I won't have access to the internet - so I won't post anything this week. Have a great week. I'll write when I return from the 12th century.

I survived VBS...

Shew! We had Vacation Bible School this week (VBS). I realized that my superpower is not working with children. Although by the last day, I was doing ok. The women at church who planned VBS and all the volunteers did a great job. I think the kids had a great time. I know I did, however everyday I came home in need of a nap! I have a new respect for teachers, parents, and anyone else who works with children - that definitely requires having some superpowers!